remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
