the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
