I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
