I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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