Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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