It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize