There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
