would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
