my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
