I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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