I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
