Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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