one might say we're banned from that church
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
