As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
