..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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