is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
