So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
