Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
