All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
