If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
