Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am midnight drunk by noon
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
