it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
