Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I just sharted jello shots
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