gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
