You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
