4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
