Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude. I can hear the air.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
