Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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