i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
