I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
