I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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