Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
