check it out our google latitudes are spooning
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
