i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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