You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
