this boner is exhausting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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