it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
