oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
