no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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