Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
