ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
