I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And then he peed in my hair
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