We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
