I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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