There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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