No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
