Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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