Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
