I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
