So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
