ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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