'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
