question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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