The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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