youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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