I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
