from now on my penis is your penis
Screwed.edu
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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