I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
