I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
