That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
