call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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